Paying Bills

            Sometimes I wish I could be more of a positive person. I just read a Facebook post by a celebrity about having to pay bills and while the majority of the comments were about how much they appreciate the star being so “real” all I could think was “at least you have the money to pay your bills.” Somehow I believe the stress that she feels paying her bills is not the same as the stress that I have. She may see the money leave her account, but she has a lot more money in that account. I highly doubt that she fears not having enough money for food or that she may not be able to make her rent or worrying that her car may not make it another mile.

            I want to be positive. I want to relate to her, but I don’t. Am I thinking about it wrong? Am I too consumed in envy? Or are the positive comments from people who think that by being positive she will respond to them and they can feel that while they are unable to pay their bills at least they have some sort of connection to a celebrity. And if it is the latter, what kind of society do we live in? Why are people so consumed with celebrity that they are willing to do anything for fame? Women are more than happy to degrade themselves and men are more than happy to play a fool. We don’t care how we find fame as long as we find it. And while I see this as a problem I am not sure that I would really decline fame if offered.  

And what would I do with fame? I would like to think that I would be a celebrity that could relate to other people and would give away much of my time and money. I would not want to be someone that lives in a golden palace and makes everyone bow when they approach me. But who knows, maybe God did not give me fame because I would be unable to handle it. Who knows? I really don’t crave fame. I don’t seek it. I really just want to be able to pay off my student loans, maintain a simple life, and be able to support my child. Essentially I just want to be able to do the very task that actress lamented: pay my bills.